To Build A Fire

Devin and I are not shy about the fights we have. We are under no illusion that fighting is unhealthy. Let's all face it, fighting is, in fact, healthy (to a certain extent of course). In the past couple of years, however, these weird "Couple Fights" that I've been watching my parents have for thirty years have happened with Devin and I.

The Couple Fight: to an outsider this fight is incredibly mundane, stupid and pointless. To the couple this fight is a matter of dignity, pride and utmost importance. Where if you were to back down and admit perhaps there's a better way to do things then you've lost the battle, and if you've lost the battle what else will you lose? Will you lose how to raise your children if you back down on this one thing? Who knows... the only thing we know is that we fight over really ridiculous things which are immediately funny to us because, fortunately, we have pretty awesome humor.

One fight in particular that took place recently which I've dubbed, "The Fire Fight" comes to mind.

It started off innocently enough. My parents got a fire pit for Christmas and being the sugar lover I am I wanted to make s'mores or, more importantly, just roast marshmallows over an open fire. Probably one of my favorite things to do. It was a really cold night and one thing you need to know about Devin is that he hates the cold. This isn't like a normal "ah! I'm cold!" this is like:

So naturally, Beast Devin had come out and he was there to stay. It was during that really freezing time when things had gotten in the negatives, in his defense. Anyways Beast Devin and I were trying to build a marshmallow fire... well, first, one thing you need to know about me is that I'm fiercely independent and any man who thinks he can help me do anything is sorely mistaken. I want to do it my way, so back off.


When it came to building a fire we had differing opinions. It's a fire, how hard can it be? Just put some logs in there and throw kindling under them and then light it. Done. Maybe I'll go a little 'Boyscout' and debate over whether to use "Cabin' or "TeePee" technique but.. other than that, I get 'er done.

Devin, being Devin, really prefers to do things the "right way" whereas I just like to do them... period. So while I was throwing things in the fire pit Devin stood back and did his best to be quiet, only intermittently grumbling things like, "We build fires very differently" or "This just isn't the way I would do it"

I ended up getting a log lit and I felt pretty damn proud that I had gotten it started, except it went out almost immediately.
Beast Devin was not impressed and after it went out, he booked it inside and proceeded to watch me from the window.

This is when it began to escalate, I was cold too, but Beast Leslie doesn't just come out for a cold night. Beast Leslie generally restrains herself for more important things like... building a fire. I sat there, kneeling next to this would-be fire, trying my best to act like I knew exactly what I was doing. It appears, however that not only in college did I earn my B.S. in biology but I got my BS in building a fire as well.

Beast Leslie and Beast Devin had come out to play.

 

Beast Leslie doesn't look anything different from Normal Leslie and this is because I am awesome and, like most girls, the majority of my warfare comes from within.


At this point I've gotten a fire started, but I'm offended that Beast Devin could just abandon our endeavor like that.
Beast Devin slowly appeared back outside at the site of the fire and decided that he could help make it a better fire. So what does he do? He flips the lit log over with the logic that "the other side needs to be lit too" and then the whole fire goes out.

 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SERIOUSLY?!??!

So now we've got Beast Leslie, Beast Devin and a once beautiful fire... ruined. He seems to think that he has done the right thing despite the obvious lack of fire. I'm mad. I was proud of my fire.

We are left with smoldering bits of wood that I've decided to just blow on until they light the log above them, again.

I do it with the patience and persistence of a woman who really wants to say "I told you so"

Oh God... there is nothing like that silence before the storm. The impending doom of the Couple Silence. Where a thousand words, feelings and emotions are expressed with just a minute or two of that silence. You know each other so well, you can fight without words.
And if silence is any indicator of the kind of fight we were having... it was World War III.

And then it happened. The log lit in a small, but steady, fire. I looked at him, he looked at me.
I didn't need to say it.

I..... Was Right.

Whatever I was Right about, I'm not exactly sure, all I know is that For The Win I got that fire started.
Game.
Set.
Match.
Fire.